i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
