i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
All the doctor said was why
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
