How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
