I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
