They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i think i have herpe
just one?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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