I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
