she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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