i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize