Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize