life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
