I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
