you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
