Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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