it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
