I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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