Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
