shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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