SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
