why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.