apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered