He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
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Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
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You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize