yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
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You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.