She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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