There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
