ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
