Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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