Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
