i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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