I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize