I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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