I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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