Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
