She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
