I puked a lego.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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