nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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