Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
