she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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