I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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