We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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