you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
