oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....