i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.