we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.