it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.