I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake