Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15