maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
