i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
