Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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