oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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