I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
