I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Everyone says I win the strip club
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
