omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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