hotel room ftw
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
