I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
