guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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