Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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