When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
