there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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