He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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