the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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