I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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