i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
