how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
