By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
