I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
