What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
sex in a hospital.. check
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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