if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
