I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Let's get the cat blown out
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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